with a roach on top

postcard

Canned Fruit Cocktail:  Normally edible - I hadn't eaten this sort of thing in years.  I prefer to butcher a fresh pineapple.

The saddest thing was parts-is-parts-breaded-and-fried.  Chickens (I assume) should not live to die and be turned into this clusterf*ck of a meat product.

I have been a pescatarian since I was 27, for over a decade.  Before that, I was a strict, dairy-free vegetarian for a decade.  I think people should have a choice in their diets, but I do not think anyone should eat the low grade food described above.

Every mealtime, in December 2012 at Alliance Health Center, I looked forward to see what was hiding beneath the lid of the gigantic food tray labeled with my name.  For some reason these food trays are over 2 foot wide, making it an exercise in strength training for the smallest version of me to carry to my room.  The only joy came twice during my stay:  banana pudding.  There were real bananas!  

I craved avocados for weeks.  I fantasized eating avocado sushi.  I just wanted simple, recognizable food.

The cockroach just happened to be inside a closed-lid food tray, the main meal after my mother attempted to explain her version of my diet to the kitchen and the dietician met with me without a notepad to take notes.  Coincidence?  Sure, why not?  It's the South; roaches are part of life.

Curiously, every single tray is marked with a slip of paper with your name and a whole long list of optional diets that I assume the kitchen offers to someone?  I'm sure they honor a diabetic diet, at least.

Regular

Diabetic

Cardiac

Vegetarian

Dairy-Free

Anyway, anyone else have a childhood into adulthood dislike of jello?

Present Day: Restaurant Roulette

Today, Mom and I attempted to eat at a new Bollywood restaurant in a strip-mall across from the actual mall. It is strange how these things go. You sit down in a booth in what appears to be the set of an Indian village. Your mother attempts to order tea, but they apparently don't have any in India. We are informed it is a buffet only restaurant. I go to see less of a buffet than you find in a Indian American owned motel breakfast bar, and the pans are nearly empty. Baffled as usual at a new restaurant experience, I scrape the little bit of rice stuck to the bottom of the chaffing dish (trying to imagine it is like paella) and not sure what to do walk back to my seat. Mom comes to find me. I laugh, take out a 5 dollar bill and place it on the table, and walk out. "How Hattiesburg," I think. We are much in need of a good Indian restaurant, but I received a Bollywood type of experience.

So, on to the Southern-Italian fusion restaurant. I walk in to the sound of Dead or Alive spinning me around. We start with fried-green tomato with Creole seasoning made into a Southern take on a caprese salad. I enjoy the garlic green beans. I was absolutely amused by the European tartar sauce, and yes, this is absolutely the intention of the chef. My only wish is that the pasta had been more al dente. I prefer an extra chew to my pasta.

So, I'm always toying with ideas in my head of what would be a successful venture for someone who had the money to buy a building, put in a commercial kitchen, and invest in Hattiesburg. One of my favorites is the Permanent Pop-Up Restaurant. We would import someone once a week or month from New Orleans or India or Jackson or Mobile or the local university to actually give us the food experience we all crave. Hattiesburgers absolutely rush-out in droves to try newly opened restaurants giving the new owners a false sense of success and the rest of town something new to discuss. I have now sworn off eating anywhere that hasn't been open for a few months, which is easy for someone who is poor and cooks. I will try again to teach myself Indian cuisine from the couple of cookbooks I bought years ago only to realize I had to go to New Orleans to find the exotic ingredients - Garam Marsala, anyone?





Visit Chef Robert St. John's Website.